Tuesday, April 24, 2007

DeJesus Update

Everyone's favorite Kansas City Royal has been lighting it up so far this season. I think he might have been motivated by me taking him under my wing. He's batting .333 with three bombs and seven RBIs. However, the Royals sit at a measly 6-11 and are again in last place in the AL Central. If supposed young studs Alex Gordon and Mark Teahan start playing like Major League Baseball players instead of like beer league softball bums, then maybe this team can get out of Nationals-like depths. When it comes down to it, if they follow the lead of DeJesus, things would be just fine.

Now I know a lot of Royals fans are scared about Dave going down with a heel injury, but he missed just one game. He was back in the lineup the very next day. I saw some Royals fan posted on a fan site that he was afraid DeJesus was going to be one of those guys who you could only count on for 120 games every season. And I say back: Are you insane? This is DeJesus we're talking about here. This is the same guy who was approached by Sammy Sosa and told, "I believe in the DeJesus" to which Dejesus reponded by spitting in his face and kicking Slammin' Sammy square in the nuts. True story...atleast that's what I've heard.

On a recent road trip to Toronto, DeJesus went into a bar, got surrounded by a dozen ridiculously good looking women almost immediately, and promptly ordered 12 shots. But being DeJesus he decided to just drink all 12 shots right in front of the women because he hates Canada. He thought the women needed to know their place as inferior. See DeJesus has hated Canada ever since he saw the movie Canadian Bacon starring John Candy. He took it a little too seriously. C'mon even DeJesus isn't perfect...but he's close... He still got four of these good looking Canucks to come home with him. And since he's DeJesus, he gave one of the four to his road roomate...Reggie Sanders. You gotta believe a guy like Reggie doesn't need any help with the ladies, but he'll take a freebee when it comes his way. I'll have more on the legend of DeJesus as the season progresses.

High fives for a Sosa loogie.

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