So part of my job at the Post is working in the office three or four days a week, helping to put together the nitty gritty of print edition (yeah, it still exists even though most of you are freeloaders who read all the content online and will probably never subscribe to an actual newspaper in your lifetime). That means things like updating standings, making sure upcoming schedules are accurate and editing box scores from pro and college sports.
A few weeks ago, I stumbled across a college football box score for a game involving Chattanooga University. But because Chattanooga is such a long name, it was too big for the box, so I had to find an abbreviation. Now, the obvious choice would have been "Chat" or "Chatt". But seeing as I was bored to tears going through all these mundane stats, I decided to have a little fun. I changed it to "The Noog" and waited to see if it got through our editing process. It did, and myself and all the other newsaides were dying of laughter the rest of the night and making random 'Noog jokes.
So when I stumbled across this story (courtesy of my roomate, Brad) about a botched sholifting scene at a Chattanooga Walmart, my silent reaction — since I'm sitting alone in my apartment right now — was "Only in the 'Noog. Read on and you'll understand why that's all I could really say:
According to a news release, Officer Josh Wright was off duty when he saw a man trying to force his way past a greeter with about $2,000 worth of stolen goods Sunday night. Wright displayed his badge, but Joseph Anthony Hill said it was fake and tried to force his way by Wright as well. Wright then tackled Hill and arrested him.
Then Hill's wife, Lisa Hill, feigned a heart attack and said she did not know her husband. After a witness told Wright the couple had been together in the store, Lisa Hill followed the witness into the parking lot and attacked her. The witness stabbed her in the arm with a pocket knife, and Lisa Hill had to be treated at a local hospital.
Joseph Anthony Hill is charged with theft over $1,000 and assault on a police officer. Charges against Lisa Hill are pending.