Friday, December 29, 2006

It's Bowlin' Season

I figured since I am such a huge sports fan, I should try my hand at predicting bowl games. Obviously there have already been several games played, but let's be honest with ourselves here, most of those games were about as exciting as watching Forest Hills Central lose in its annual battle with East Grand Rapids. I mean, when Peter Krauss is your star player you know you are in trouble. I'm aiming for getting 75 percent of these picks right. I'm going to predict scores in the game, but in reality I probably don't know enough about each team to correctly pick a score...but I'm 100 percent sure my game winners will be correct...atleast 75 percent of the time.

Here's a recap of the bowl games that have already occurred:
Poinsettia Bowl: TCU 37, Northern Illinois 7
Las Vegas Bowl: BYU 38, Oregon 8
New Orleans Bowl: Troy 41, Rice 17
Papa Bowl: South Florida 24, East Carolina 7
New Mexico Bowl: San Jose St. 20, New Mexico 12
Armed Forces Bowl: Utah 25, Tulsa 13
Hawaii Bowl: Hawaii 41, Arizona State 24
Motor City Bowl: Central Michigan 31, Middle Tennessee St. 14
Emerald Bowl: Florida St. 44, UCLA 27
Independence Bowl: Oklahoma St. 34, Alabama 31
Texas Bowl: Rutgers 37, Kansas St. 10
Holiday Bowl: Cal 45, Texas A&M 10

Again, I want to repeat that I didn't pick any of these games because the teams in fact blow...well, except for Cal and Texas A&M, which I can't believe was such a blowout.

Friday, 1 p.m: Music City Bowl
Clemson vs. Kentucky
This is a game of contrasting offenses. Kentucky, as usual, relies on their passing game and QB Andre Woodson. Clemson relies on its two-headed rushing attack of CJ Spiller and James Davis. I've seen Clemson play a couple times this season and have been thoroughly impressed with their athleticism. It also helps that both the Rios' younger brother and Andrew McElroy (a fellow pool manager go there). My instincts tell me to go with Clemson, but Andre Woodson just sounds like a name of a player that will just go off in a bowl game. But you gotta love the pool karma Clemson has going for it. And just to let you know, this prediction was made at 12:50 -- before the game started.

Prediction: Clemson 35, Kentucky 24

Friday, 2 p.m: Sun Bowl
Oregon State vs. Missouri
This is an easy one to pick. It's a game feturing teams heading in opposite directions. They have similar records with Missouri at 8-4 and Oregon State at 9-4 (they got to play 13 games because the NCAA allows a team to play an extra home game if they are willing to travel to Hawaii for a game). But if you remember from earlier in the year, Missouri started the season 6-0. That means they are just 2-4 since then. Oregon State started the year 2-3, and promptly won 7 of their last 8 including wins over USC, Hawaii, and Oregon. Missouri runs the spread offense, but it makes no difference to me, because I always side with Mr. Momentum.

Prediction: Oregon State 27, Missouri 10

Friday, 4:30 p.m: Liberty Bowl
South Carolina vs. Houston
I think the key to predicting bowl games is identifying players who are just going to go off in games, whether it's a preview for next season or a way to show off to the pro scouts. Well, this game has Gamecock sophomore wide receiver Sidney Rice. He had 64 catches this season, and may be the best sophomore wide receiver in the nation (although I would take Mario Manningham over him any day of the week). I've got a hunch that he is just going to have one of those unreal bowl games and propel himself to elite status heading into next season. Not to mention, they are facing a Houston team that I doubt has the talent to match up with a Steve Spurrier offense.

Prediction: South Carolina 41, Houston 21

Friday, 7:30 p.m: Insight Bowl
Texas Tech vs. Minnesota
This is one of those who gives a fuck bowl games. Because let's be honest with ourselves, who gives a fuck about this game outside the state of Minnesota and the town of Lubbock, Texas. The Gophers are a running team from the Big Ten, while we all know Texas Tech can pass with the best of them. Seriously though, Minnesota went 6-6 and Texas Tech went 7-5...those aren't good seasons.

Prediction: Texas Tech 45, Minnesota 31

Friday, 8 p.m: Champs Sports Bowl
Maryland vs. Purdue
Purdue is literally the quietest 8-4 Big Ten team I have ever seen. I go to school at Michigan, and I don't know a thing about Purdue football. They simply beat all the bad teams and lost to all the good teams. They apparently have a 'high-flying offense' according to, but so did our Mudbowl team. That doesn't mean we can beat a Maryland team that should have gone to the ACC Championship Game this year. I like this Terp team as long as QB Sam Hollenbach doesn't try to force things and throw INTs. And you gotta support Terps football because who knows how much longer they will be good. The Fridge could die at any moment in time with the amount of weight he's carrying around these days.

Prediction: Maryland 24, Purdue 17

Saturday, 1 p.m: Meineke Car Care Bowl
Navy vs. Boston College
This is one of those awkward games for BC, since Tom O'Brien left to go coach at NC State. If I were a player on that team I would feel pretty embarassed that my coach just left for another team in your own conference. Did I mention that the guy coaching the Eagles in the bowl game is a lame duck coach. See, BC hired the Green Bay Packers offensive coordinator, but obviously he's still got an NFL team to coach. That makes Frank Spaziani a lame duck. And who doesn't like Navy. You can't go wrong with the armed forces in a bowl game. Oh wait, Navy lost its star running back to injury in the Army-Navy game...I'm off the bandwagon.

Prediction: BC 24, Navy 7

Saturday, 4:30 p.m: Alamo Bowl
Texas vs. Iowa
Ah, the Alamo Bowl...the game for the big disappointments in the Big Ten and the Big 12. The good ol' Wolverines were in this one last year, and it was viewed as an embarassment to the program (although I see the players still wear the stupid backpacks they got from it around campus all the time). This year, Iowa, led by QB Drew Tate, takes on Texas, who really faltered to end the season. For Iowa, it has been a hard season, especially on Tate, who was plagued by a terrible team en rout to a 6-6 record. I like Tate because he called Michigan's 'D' the best he'd seen all season. But I like Texas more because Mack Brown is an SAE. Oh yeah, I forgot to ask: why the hell is Iowa in a bowl game?

Prediction: Texas 31, Iowa 14

Saturday, 8 p.m: Chick Fil-A Bowl
Georgia vs. Virginia Tech
This is going to be a good football game. Va Tech is 10-2, and finished the season on a 7-game winning streak. Georgia was real streaky, but finished the year off with impressive wins against Auburn and Georgia Tech. Now, imagine if Marcus Vick, the reigning ACC Player of the Year, was still playing for the Hokies. This team would most certainly be in the BCS, and would have challneged for the title game. Both teams have terrible QBs, but the difference is that Va Tech's Sean Glennon is just a little bit better than the Bulldogs combo of Joe Tereshinski and Matt Stafford. Plus, you gotta support anyone who has a kick ass growth on the side of their neck.

Prediction: Virginia Tech 21, Georgia 17

Sunday, 7:30 p.m: MPC Computers Bowl
Miami(Fl) vs. Nevada
The fact that I put the (Fl) after Miami should indicate how sorry the Hurricanes are these days. I just wanted to make sure everyone knew that this was the Miami in Florida and not the one in Ohio. In the past, the MPC Computers Bowl would be something the mighty RedHawks would have participated in. This is Larry Coker's final game as coach of Miami, and he's hoping to go out with a bang. But I don't think he'll be able to replicate the melee that ensued in last year's Peach Bowl between the Hurricanes and LSU. But I think the bigger question heading into this highly anticipated matchup is: do you think any players on Miami know the what the capital of Nevada is?

Prediction: Miami 24, Nevada 14

Jan. 1, 11 a.m: Outback Bowl
Penn St. vs. Tennessee
I'm going to say this upfront: I would take Peter Krauss as quarterback over Anthony Morelli any day of the week. Now, Eric Ainge...I wouldn't mind him leading us into the next year's Mudbowl. Add on the fact that Penn State hasn't beaten a good team yet this year (and that Jeremy is going to the game), and it spells a Vols victory.

Prediction: Tennessee 31, Penn St. 14

Jan. 1, 11:30 a.m: Cotton Bowl
Auburn vs. Nebraska
The justification for Florida going to the National Championship game over Michigan was that it played in such a tough conference, that their loss to Auburn was understandable. I'm going to be honest, I want Nebraska to win this game so badly because I hate everything SEC related right now. That conference is simply full of good ol' boys who think their football is the greatest in the world. And the leader of these whiners is Tommy Tuberville. What kind of name is that anyways? Now Bill Callahan, that's a name you bring home to the parents.

Prediction: Nebraska 20, Auburn 17

Jan. 1, 1 p.m: Capital One Bowl
Arkansas vs. Wisconsin
This is going to be one of those grind it out on the ground type of games. The Badgers rely on a sick offensive line and sophomore standout running back P.J. Hill. But against the one elite team they faced this season (Michigan) that running game was halted. Arkansas relies on next year's Heisman favorite Darren McFadden, who sometimes plays QB in the Razorbacks' Wildcat formation. I think the Badgers only chance to win is if QB John Stocco can make a few big plays along with the running of P.J. Hill. But can the Badgers keep up with Arkansas' team speed?

Prediction: Arkansas 34, Wisconsin 20

Jan. 1, 1 p.m: Gator Bowl
West Virginia vs. Georgia Tech
This is your last chance to watch WR Calvin Johnson in action, as it is 99 percent guaranteed he is going to go pro after the game. The Jackets will be without QB Reggie Ball, which probably isn't that bad considering how terrible he was all year. I bet if we stuck him in a yard with one of those tires hanging from a tree, he would get a football through maybe 50 percent of the time. That's how inaccurate he is. WVU has Pat White and Steve Slaton, both of whom will have big games. I wonder if White will do the Yellow Jacker buzz just like he did the Pittsburgh Panther growl.

Prediction: West Virginia 45, Georgia Tech 17

Jan. 1, 5 p.m: The Rose Bowl
Michigan vs. USC
This one is simple. The winner is going to be preseason No. 1 heading into next season. USC has some beastly receivers in Steve SMith and Dwayne Jarrett, and I really don't think Leon Hall, let alone Morgan Trent can handle them. Michigan needs to be able to get consistent pressure on John David Booty with just its front four. This shouldn't be an issue given how flimsy USC's O-line has been this season. Michigan needs to control the clock with Mike Hart and its run game, and Chad Henne must avoid turnovers. USC's corners have to avoid allowing Mario Manningham to get any sort of big plays. That being said, this one is really a coin flip and my pick is rightfully biased considering I am a Wolverine fan myself.

Prediction: Michigan 31, USC 27

Jan. 1, 8 p.m: Fiesta Bowl, 8 p.m.
Oklahoma vs. Boise St.
What a great story Boise St. has been all season. The Mid-major that could. Thye feature a great running back in Ian Johnson, and they play on a blue field. They also killed an Oregon State team that is now one of the hottest teams in the country. Too bad it doesn't mean anything now that Adrian Peterson is back. This is going to be one of those tour de force performances by the junior running back. See if he goes off like I think he will, his draft stock will once again skyrocket. The scouts want to see if Peterson is healthy again, and I don't think he will disappoint.

Prediction: Oklahoma 31, Boise St. 17

Jan. 2, 8 p.m: Orange Bowl
Louisville vs. Wake Forest
I'm sorry, but I just don't think either of these teams would stand a chance against an elite team like Ohio State, Michigan, LSU, or Florida. So why are they in a BCS game? Wake Forest is a nice story, but it's the kind of nice story you expect to see in the Gator Bowl or something like that. Louisville has superior talent, offense and coaching which would lead me to believe...

Prediction: Louisville 27, Wake Forest 13

Jan. 3, 8 p.m: Sugar Bowl
Notre Dame vs. LSU
Notre Dame has two losses this year -- aganist the two good teams on its schedule. LSU has lost two games as well this season, while maneuvering its way through the 'tough' SEC. Both teams have great QBs in Brady Quinn and JaMarcus Russell. Both teams have good coaches in Charlie Weis and Michigan alum Les Miles. Both teams should have sizable cheering sections at the Superdome because Notre Dame is Notre Dame and LSU is playing in its home state. All the prognosticators are predicting a blowout by LSU over a Notre Dame that simply doesn't have the speed to keep up with the Tigers. But I'm going against the grain on this one. Something tells me that if you give Charlie Weis a month to prepare for a team, he will more often than not win. The bowl losing streak will end for the Irish.

Prediction: Notre Dame 34, LSU 30

Jan. 6, Noon: International Bowl
Cincinnati vs. Western Michigan
Brooks Bunbury, a cousin of Peter Krauss, plays for Western, so I think it's obvious who the pick in this one is going to be. Not to mention that Cincy's coach did career suicide and took the job at Michigan State.

Prediction: Western Michigan 24, Cincinnati 20

Jan. 7, 8 p.m: GMAC Bowl
Southern Miss vs. Ohio
I didn't mention this but I think that it is a brilliant idea by these shitty bowl games to move their dates in between the BCS games. They can't get lost in the shuffle with all of the other bowl games that don't really matter to more than 2,000 people. Does the new date mean I am going to watch the game? Hell no!
Prediction: Ohio 27, Southern Miss 13

Jan. 8, 8 p.m: BCS National Championship Game
Ohio State vs. Florida
First of all just to make this clear: if this were a legitimate national championship game it would be a rematch between Ohio State and Michigan. Florida does not deserve to be in this game given its loss to Auburn, and they way it narrowly defeated every team it faced. The Buckeyes are the clear number one team in the nation. They have proven it all season with their dynamic offense which absolutely torced Michigan a month and a half ago. Florida's offense features the two-headed monster of Chris Leak and Tim Tebow. They are good, but I don't know if they are good enough to beat James Laurinitis and the Buckeye defense. Matt Brown mentioned to me that this game could end up like the Miami-Ohio State national championship game from 2001, where the BUckeyes -- led by Maurice Clarett -- pulled off the improbable upset. The similarities are definitely there. Just like Ohio State in '01, the Gators come in as decided underdogs. And just like the '01 Bucks, they have a playmaker freshman in Tim Tebow, who could be a huge difference maker if Ohio State has trouble with the spread offense. This game also pits two elite coaches against each other. The experts say that if you give Urban Meyer a month to prepare for a team, you are in trouble. On the other hand -- when was the last time a Jim Tressel team lost a big game? It just doesn't seem to happen. I think this one will be closer than people expect, but the big plays will be made by the Buckeyes down the stretch. As much as this pains me to say...
Prediction: Ohio State 41, Florida 28

Expect more goofy-ass grins come January 8th

Sitcom Awesomeness

I've been home for winter break for about a week now, and there really hasn't been much to do. I've been keeping myself occupied with lot of King of the Hill. See, Battey got seasons four and five from his brother for Christmas, and naturally, I wanted to watch. There is a certain appreciation that one gets with King of the Hill. It's like a fine wine -- it gets better with age. When I was younger, King of the Hill was simply just a filler in the Fox Sunday night lineup between The Simpsons and Malcolm in the Middle. But now I find it hilarious how realistic the protrayal of Texas is in the show. It is a show that has been on for over 10 years now, and has remained funny. It doesn't have a huge audience, but it is a niche audience -- a core fan base.

And speaking of sitcoms, I have definitely gotten into them big time recently. For some reason, in the past month I've been watching a shitload of reruns and current shows. I don't know what it is, but I've rekindled my love for them. I am definitely hooked on these following shows (atleast for the time being):

1. Scrubs

2. King of the Hill

3. 30 Rock

4. South Park

5. Entourage

Honorable Mentions: Still Standing, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Home Improvement, Spin City

Sunday, December 24, 2006

That thud you heard was Michigan basketball

Yesterday marked a new low in the Tommy Amaker era of Michigan basketball. The Wolverines were throttled by No. 1 ranked UCLA by a margin of 37 points. Unfortunately I was unable to actually watch the game because it wasn't on in the DC area. But thinking back, it was probably a good thing that I didn't watch because I would have come to the painful realization that Michigan basketball is headed nowhere under the guidance of Amaker. It showed on the court that Michigan had played just two teams with records above .500 heading into this game. Personally, I thought we were going to lose to UCLA, but by 37? I did not see that coming from a team that starts 4 seniors and a junior. It's not like the Wolverines are going to learn and grow from this loss like that young Ohio State team that got blindsided by Florida. This team has supposedly spent the last three seasons learning from losing and should have already grown. But not only did the team not play up to its capabilities, the team just didn't look prepared. Here's an excerpt from the La Daily News story on the game. Pay particular attention to Mbah Moute's quote:

The key to the game was UCLA’s double-team on 6-foot-10 center Courtney Sims, although Michigan coach Tommy Amaker didn’t think so. Mbah a Moute got his two steals out of it in the game’s first minute. Sims was held to two shots and two points in the first half and finished with 13. UCLA beat Michigan in Ann Arbor with the same game plan last year.
"I was surprised because we did it last year," Mbah a Moute said. “I felt they would be ready for it.”

The talent is there for a NCAA Tournament bid. I just don't know if the coaching is there. He's not a particularly good recruiter and he certainly isn't a good game coach, so why does he still have a job? The guy has been a head coach for nine seasons if you include his time at Seton Hall, and has made the tournament just once (with the Pirates). It's time for a change in Ann Arbor, but you know it's not going to happen anytime soon. Unless Michigan loses the remainder of its games, Tommy Amaker is, for better or worse, here to stay.

So that's what a terrible coach looks like

Friday, December 22, 2006

Doug Collins did what?

I'm back in Maryland for winter break after crushing the Ann Arbor-Potomac drive in just 7 hours 15 minutes. That's a new record for me. Last night, the board met in the basement for several hours. While down there, we got to catch a majority of the Wizards big win over the Kings. Since the game was on TNT we also got the distinct privelege of hearing Doug Collins' call of the game. But it was nearly impossible to listen to him after you caught a glimpse of his unsightly hair dye job. Literally, the man's hair is the same color as a school bus now. It's that yellow. So now, not only is Dougie a terrible basketball coach, he now looks like a human banana. Whoever told him he looked good with the yellow dye job should not be working for TNT anymore. I mean, seriously, how is let on the air looking like that?

You need to be more confident in the aging process, Dougie

As for the actual game, the Wizards were the typical Wizards: Dynamic on offense and subpar on defense. But against a team like the Kings that works. The Wiz kids were actually down by 6 at halftime, but then put up 44 in the third quarter and put the game away essentially. When Gilbert, Antawn, and Caron are hitting shots, there isn't a defense in the league that can shut them down. The team is now 13-12 and sitting in a nice position within the weak Eastern Conference. I really think this team has a shot at going places this season. If the Wiz somehow beat the Suns tonight and go 3-1 on this little western road trip, it'll be time to start getting excited about this team.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The Redskins future has a lot to do with the past

As a diehard, lifelong Redskins fan I should have expected a season like this. Let's be honest, the Skins haven't strung together consecutive playoff appearances since 1991 and 1992. That's 15 years. And in those 15 years they have been to the playoffs twice, advancing to the NFC Divisional game both times. I don't know if you remember my post from preseason, but I made the prediction that this team could either be 12-4 or 13-3, or they could just as easily be 7-9 or 8-8. Unfortunately, my latter prediction came true. But frankly I truly believe this team is not that far away from becoming a playoff contender again. You saw the way they played against the Saints this past Sunday. They dominated a division winner in their own building. And they did it playing Redskins football. The defense was solid, but not spectacular, and the offense controlled the line of scrimmage with a lot of running. As much as people want to anoint Al Saunders a geniue, the bottom line is that every game the Skins have won this season has been through playing the way Gibbs wants to play. The Redskins have three solid running backs for next year (Portis, Betts, and Duckett) and I see no reason why they can't run the ball atleast 35 times a game every game.

Which brings me to Jason Campbell. I have been impressed with him so far. He doesn't make too many mistakes and he throws a nice deep ball, but he isn't a Peyton Manning either. He's not going to single handedly win you a football game in the same way Tom Brady or Donovan McNabb will. But he does remind me of quarterbacks in the past. We all need to remember that Gibbs doesn't need a great quarterback to win a Super Bowl. All three Super Bowl wins came with quarterbacks of the same nature as Campbell. Jay Schroeder, Doug Williams, and Mark Rypien were not Hall of Famers. Heck, even in their Super Bowl-winning years they barely made the Pro Bowl. But they all made few mistakes and threw a nice deep ball. That's all the Redskins need to be successful. I see no reason why the Redskins shouldn't win out and finish 7-9.

And if you've been reading anything online, you'll know that Daniel Snyder is apparently ready to splurge on some new free agents. Rumor has it that the Skins have already targeted Nate Clements and Dwight Freeney as potential signees. And for the team's sake I hope this does not happen. As I've said before, I'd like to see the Skins build through the draft. The infusion of young players helps a team. Rather than having a veteran who signed a fat deal, you have a rookie who's willing to put it all on the line because he has to prove himself. I think it's obvious that right now Carlos Rogers is not ready to take on being a No. 1 cornerback in this league, so I believe the Skins need to use their first round pick on something secondary-oriented. Whether that's a CB, safety, or even a D-lineman to create more pressure on the QB, I don't know. But remember this: The Redskins revival under Joe Gibbs didn't start until after Gibbs' first season when they selected a small cornerback out of Texas A&I in the first round. His name was Darrell Green, and he only went down as one of the greatest players of the 1980s-1990s. Who's gonna be the next Darrell Green?

Did you know Jason Campbell's
initials are the same as Jesus Christ's

Monday, December 18, 2006

Gil's Big Night

I was going to include this in my previous post about Carmelo, but I thought Gilbert deserved his own post after putting up 60 against Kobe and the Lakers last night. I didn't actually catch the game — I wish I was in the DC the past days because of Ovechkin and Arenas — but I did see the highlights and the aftermath. Gilbert simply put the Wiz on his back in front of the team he dreamed of playing for as a child. It didn't matter if Kobe was covering him or that Kobe was equally hot from the floor. Gilbert was not going to lose this game. Gilbert has really elevated himself into the upper echelon of NBA players. Frankly, besides DWade and Lebron, what other guard in the east is better than Gilbert? And while on the subject of Kobe Bryant, he lost a lot of respect in my book with his comments after the game:

"You tip your hat and say, 'See you next time.' "I don't think he has a conscience. I really don't. He was chucking out there. He took some horrible shots and he made some big ones. I don't get a chance to play him much. I'll be ready next time."

So wait, Kobe is criticizing Gilbert's shot selection. Just think about that for a second. An interesting stat from the aftermath is that Arenas was just the second player ever to put up 60 against the Lakers. The other: Wilt Chamberlain. And speaking of the Wizards, they've now won 8 of 10 and are two games over .500. The way they are playing right now, they can beat anyone in the east. Obviously they don't play enough defense to compete with the best teams in the west. That Lakers team they beat last night at Staples is a damn good squad, so that should be chalked up as another quality win from a team that has recently beaten the Nuggets, Mavs, Pistons, and Heat. They have three more games to go in this short, 4-game western road trip. Next up is the Nuggets in a couple days. That game looks real winnable now considering the Nugs will lmost certainly be without Carmelo, and possibly J.R. Smith and Marcus Camby as well. I'll have more later on how impressed I am with the job Ernie Grunfeld has done as Wizards general manager.

Gilbert might be the best guard in the league besides DWade and Lebron

Carmelo's Baltimore roots come out

I thought I would first address the best boxing match to hit Madison Square Garden in years. The little brawl between the Knicks and the Nuggets was highly entertaining. I actually didn't see the thing live, but was at the bar here in Ann Arbor when it came on Sportscenter. Since I couldn't hear the anchors, I just figured it was your regular boring Knicks game. Then it all started to unfold. Hard foul by Mardy Collins, the Nate Robinson form tackle into the crowd, and the capper of course...the Carmelo sucker punch. I think it's pretty obvious 'Melo has lost any street cred he ever had. He ran away from Mardy Collins like he had stolen something. The last thing he wanted was to get involved with big ol' Jared Jeffries. Personally, I think Jared would be a money boxer, those arms are just so long. For Melo it just confirmed to me what a terrible city Baltimore is. Only a native of BMore, like Carmelo, would first sucker punch someone, and then run away like he was getting chased by the dog from Sandlot.

I'm feeling a 10-game suspension for Carmelo, although David Stern will probably make it more like 20. Let's be honest here, Carmelo probably lost a boatload of potential endorsements, a ton of respect, and a possible MVP trophy all because he's a "thug". And all this talk about Isaiah Thomas's role in the brawl is hilarious to me. I think it's pretty obvious that Isaiah called for the hard foul. Notice that Mardy Collins did the dirty work. You didn't see any KNicks regulars like Stevie Franchise, Stephon, or David Lee sprinting down the court after J.R. Smith. But I like that fire from Isaiah. He felt his team was getting disrespected by George Karl, and he got mean and nasty. He should get suspended for a couple games, but I think this could be a turning point for the Knicks. We'll see.

Let's be honest: Jared would have owned 'Melo

Friday, December 15, 2006

The brilliance of Snoop Dogg

There's a man in the spotlight who simply fascinates me. He has been arrested countless times for crimes as simple as possession of marijuana and as gruesome as first degree murder. Yet he remains one of the most prolific people in America. He is Snoop Dogg. Is there anyone else who could get arrested and it would raise their profile. Literally everytime the man gets caught with pot, it only makes him more money. It only adds to the image that he sells. And this is all just 10 years after he was oh so close to being thrown in jail for life. Whoever gives him career advice is a genius. The man simply sells records, smokes weed, and has a good time, not to mention he makes millions. Rolling Stone recently profiled the greatness that is Snoop Dogg, and it produced this gem of a quote from one of the single-funniest human beings alive. It all has to do with his 2003 red carpet appearance at the MTV VMA Awards in which he had two prostitutes follow him on leashes (like dogs). Here is an exerpt from the article:

"I was flexin my pimp muscle and lettin' people see how real pimps do it. If you really a pimp, you should be able to get two bitches to walk on a leash with you down the red carpet and be yo ho's for the night. And when I did it, it really was pimpin'." I had thought it was all for show, metaphorical pimpin', but Snoop says it really was pimpin' with so much feeling, I can't help but think that he was a professional pimp. Indeed, for two years, he was. "I wouldn't even say a real pimp," he says. "I'd just say I had it like that. See, that shit was my natural calling and once I got involved in it, it became fun. It was like shootin' layups for me. I was makin' 'em every time. Cuz pimpin' ain't a job, it's a sport. I had a bitch on every exit from the 10 freeway to the 101 freeway, cuz bitches would recruit for me. I had barricudas — seven or eight of 'em. When a bitch recruits for you, she goes out into the club or the environment and brings back other bitches and makes 'em my ho's. That's pimpin'"
A true God amongst men

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Braylon Edwards sighting

I just got back from the epic clash between Michigan and Delaware State in basketball. The game really lived up to all the hype the media gave it, with the Wolverines barely edging the Hornets 70-49. But in all seriousness, the game was boring as hell except for a couple sweet dunks by Air Georgia, Brent Petway. However, the highlight of the game for me was interviewing Braylon Edwards at halftime. Braylon was at CRisler because the Browns played on Thursday night. And I asked him the question that seems to be on every Michigan football fans mind right now: What does he think about the BCS and specifically the debate between Michigan and Florida? And here was his response...

"It's bullshit. Until the BCS gets a playoff system, the BCS will always be a joke. The team that always gets left out will always have a problem with it. I don't agree with the whole make-up of it. I think over half the population of the country would agree with me that it doesn't work. I believe Michigan is the best team in the country with the exception of Ohio State. "

Seeing as I am still in awe of some of the catches Braylon made during my freshman year, I attempted to keep our conversation going for as long as possible. That meant asking him about the Browns.

"Obviously, we aren't a playoff team this year, so my goal is to finish the year with a 1,000 yards (receiving). And next year, we just have to be better than we were this year. The team has to get on the same page."

From my standpoint it looks like Braylon is dedicated to this whole team thing over in Cleveland. Clearly, when he shoved Charlie Frye on the sideline, in front of all the cameras a couple weeks ago, he was doing it for the team. But actually I think Braylon is awesome even if he used to stand outside Touchdowns after wins and fish for compliments.

Maybe Braylon is a fucking soldier too?

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Everyone knows my hate for Philly runs deep

This Sunday the Redskins have the chance to do something that will make me a very happy human being. The Eagles come to Fedex fighting for their playoff lives, while the Redskins are stuck in the all-too-familiar medicrity zone. See, my hate for the Eagles started way back in the days of Heath Shuler/Gus Frerotte. It was Shuler's first season with the Skins and he had been blowing as the starter. I was at my first ever home Skins game, my only Skins game at RFK, and we losing to the Eagles 7-0 in the fourth quarter. Neither team was particularly good, with the Skins being downright awful and the Eagles being average. Our offense had been so woeful, that I did the unthinkable. I joined with the masses in chanting "We want Gus". I still regret this decision to this day. Norv Turner didn't put Gus in that day, but the Skins were shut out by the Eagles. I believe the final score was 13-0. But I will never forget the jackass Eagles fans in RFK that day chanting "E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles! It made me sick.

Flash forward to the year 2000. You know, that magical year where the Skins picked up Primetime, Team Smith, and Mark Carrier among others. Remember how the Skins started the year 7-2? Well, at this point they had lost three in a row and were sitting at 7-5. I arrived at Fedex to see this NFC East battle, as the Eagles were in the playoff chase because of Donovan McNabb. And of course, the Eagles embarassed us. I will never, ever forget the touchdown run by McNabb where he absolutely juked the daylights out of Mark Carrier on a humiliating 50+ yard touchdown run that literally broke the backs of the Redskins. I really don't think the team fully recovered from that season until Gibbs came back.

There's so many reasons to hate the Eagles. And I just want to demoralize their annoying fans so badly. I don't think I take pleasure in a person getting injured, except in the case of Donovan McNabb. That douchebag has taken years off my life with the damage he has done to my Skins. So to see him hurt and unable to play makes me one of the happiest people on the planet. I hope he never returns to being the player he once was. It sounds harsh, but that's just how much I hate the guy. It was probably the biggest reason why I though the one year we had with Marty Schottenheimer was so awesome. We swept the Eagles. I know for the Skins there's nothing but pride left for this season. I realize we need to see Jason Campbell recover from that Falcons game. And what better way is there for him to endear himself to Washington, D.C and me than by sticking a stake through the Eagles' hearts.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Will you hire me?

It's been a rough week up here in Ann Arbor. The common theme seems to be getting screwed. Michigan got screwed out of the national championship because the SEC complains more than any person who ever swam at Mohican/Regency Estates. If you want to know who ahould really be in the national championship ask Vanderbilt's head coach. His team played both the Wolverines and the Gators in their respective home stadiums. In his coaches poll ballot he voted Michigan number 2.

The other screw jobs involve myself. I'm screwed royally in the intership marker. So far I've heard back from 14 newspapers, and I've been rejected by 13. The one yes came from The Modesto Bee in Modesto, California, but I really don't want that to be my only option. And then just today I got screwed out of a promotion at The Daily even though I fimrly believe I was the mot qualified. It seems as if the prejudices against Mark the Frat Boy came back to bite me in the ass. I'm sorry I have more friends, drink more booze, and have more fun than the powers-that-be at the paper.

The only good news is that at least I'm not Peter Krauss.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Fallout from a stunning Sunday

I'm going to sound biased because I'm a Michigan student, but the BCS National Championship decision tonight is a joke. You can't tell me with a straight face that Florida could beat the Wolverines on a neutral field. The same Gator team that lost to Auburn, and nearly lost numerous other games. I dont want to hear this nonsense about the SEC being the better conference. You can't punish this Michigan team simply because the Big Ten was down. They played the consensus number one team in the nation in a hostile, road environment and came damn close to a win. That being said, I will still be rooting for Florida, because the last thing I want is for those people from Ohio State to have another national title. This Florida team looks a lot like that Buckeye national title team from 2001. They keep winning close and they might just sneak up on the Buckeyes come January 8.

Now the Maize and Blue turn its attention to the Rose Bowl where they will face an extremely good USC team. This game is definitely going to be a nailbiter. It really could go either way since both teams are very well balanced. I think USC's receivers will be the best the Michigan defense has seen all season. But I also think that the defensive line of the Wolverines is a whole lot better than anything in the Pac-10.

If we look at this Rose Bowl with some foresight, it could set up as a preview for the 2008 National Championship. Both Michigan and USC should bring back a good number of regulars. Whichever team wins this game will more than likely head into the 2008 season with the number one ranking. What's sad is that pretty much every other bowl game is a bit of a downer. Boise State vs. Oklahoma...blah. Notre vs. LSU...The Tigers are going to crush the Irish...Louisville vs. Wake Forest...Neither is an elite team. And don't get me started on the bush league that is Fox covering the BCS. Let good, old reliable ABC do what they are best at and broadcast the biggest games of the year.