Monday, December 21, 2009
The Most Undercovered NFL Story of the Year
I'm at the Capitals practice facility right now, having just finished blogging for the Post (check out my work here and here) but I felt compelled to tell you about the story that rocked my NFL world last night.
So I'm sure you're all well aware by now about allegations that a certain star wide receiver from the New England Patriots may have been dogging it eight days ago in a game against Carolina. Not a completely shocking revelation, since Randy Moss has admitted to not playing hard at his two previous professional stops. And on a personal note, his poor performance last week couldn't have come at a worse time for someone like me, who was in the first round of fantasy football playoffs and spent the No. 10 overall pick on my fantasy draft on a sometimes-disgruntled wide receiver who happens to be the best deep threat of our generation.
But none of that has anything to do with this post. So when I returned home from working a late shift at the Post (and after I waited foreeeeever for a Metro train because the D.C. area panics when snow hits) Sunday night, I turned on Sportscenter and lo and behold the first segment I saw was a recap of the Patriots 17-10 win over Buffalo yesterday. And up at the podium addressing all the haters afterwards was a man with a beard so thick I did a double take. The above picture is a little blurry, but I think our buddy, Randy, is officially at "I gotta comb it out in the morning to make sure there isn't any food in there" level with this thing.
My question is why hasn't this beard been examined more by the mainstream media? Maybe this is racist (or more like stereotypical) but I cant remember another famous black athlete with that sweet of a beard. Why now, Randy, and why so big? I've heard analogies like he looks like an anorexic Kimbo Slice or that he looks like a guy who could wear a Santa costume and ring the Salvation Army bell or even a hobo. Hell, I heard someone even suggest he was paying homage to Michael J. Fox and his fight against Parkinson's Disease by becoming black Teen Wolf.
This site asks if Randy's beard is the worst sports beard of all time, and proceeds to list out the five worst beards in sports. I would tend to disregard this list on the grounds that they call Baron Davis's beard one of the five worst, and to me, the beard makes Baron one of my favorite non-Wizards. Maybe this is just juvenile of me, but I could totally see the reason for Randy having the beard is that one of his buddies played a disgusting, "Jackass 2"-style prank and taped some pubes to his face. Then when Randy found out, he was like "jokes on you clowns, I'm gonna grow this sucka out."
I would love to hear your thoughts/one-liners, but the bottom line is I think the beard is sweet and probably deserves some kind of Kenny Mayne jokester segment before the season is complete.
Posted by Mark at 3:53 PM