Sunday, October 07, 2007

The Overhypage of Ed Hochuli

Let's just get right to the point of this post. Ed Hichuli reffed today's matchup between the Skins and Lions. And usually the announcers don't talk about refs all that much, except to introduce them to the audience at the start of the game. But if you watch the NFL, you've invariably caught a Hochuli reffed affair. So, shouldn't it be common knowledge now that 1) Ed Hochuli has huge biceps and clearly wears a shirt that's a size too small in order to show off said guns and 2) That Ed Hochuli is a lawyer on the side and gives great explanations of replays, penalties, and what not.

Hochuli is an egomaniac. He needs to be stopped. Refs are supposed to be nerds, not dirty whores with stripes on their shirts.

So please, football announcers, stop saying this stuff on the air. Make me, as a viewer, think that you're getting paid to something other than pick your own ass in a suit while watching a sporting event. Everyone knows about Hochuli. He doesn't need his fucking ego fed. Hochuli is probably the reason this whole Tim Donaghy thing happened in the NBA. Donaghy probably bitched and moaned to some bartender at a random place wherever he lives (because obviously Tim Donaghy has no friends) about how underappreciated he is. I bet he even said something along the lines, "That cocksucker Hochuli. Bet he just fucking slams bitches with his witty remarks and explanations and huge biceps."

So of course, the only way to be the man is to beat the man. So Donaghy decided fixing games was the way to go. And now look where we are. Point of this is: quit kissing Hochuli's ass. He's a ref, and just because he's clearly overcompensating for a lack of something with his way too tight ref shirts, does not mean we have to pay homage to him. And it's egomaniacs like him that are ruining refereedom everywhere. I want us to go back to the days where the only coverage referees got were when they fucked up a call or they tripped overthemselves or a mascot thusly becoming a new installment in the DVD compilation of "Ref's Greatest Moments: The Bloopers of Our Generation".

Dick Bavetta and Patrick actually have something in common. They would both be stars of Ref's Greatest Moments.

Getting away from that cocksucker Hochulu for a moment...I obviously watched the Skins game today and couldn't help but come away impressed. This was a game that I thought had letdown written all over it. I was absolutely terrified of the vaunted Mike Martz passing attack and the matchup problems the quartet of Roy WIlliams, Calvin Johnson, Mike Furrey, and Shaun McDonald presented. But then something weird happened, something that was reminiscent of the old Joe Gibbs. The Redskins came out and absolutely manhandled a decent opponent for 60 minutes.

Don't get me wrong, the Lions aren't great. Heck they might not even make the playoffs, despite sitting at 3-2 right now. But do you see this Lions team finishing any lower than 7-9. I don't think so, not with the offensive weapons they have at their disposal. And let's not forget, the Skins didn't even get any breaks in this game. Detroit had four fumbles, none of which were recovered. Oh yeah, we lost our No. 1 and No. 2 wide receivers by halftime too. Just an impressive performance, all the way around. That Green Bay game next week has the makings of a great one.

Umm I was about to shoot somebody after that one fumble where it seemed like every Redskin on the defense touched the ball, but missed as if the ball was one of those watermelons covered in vaseline that they throw in the pool every 4th of July. For a second I thought John Kerry had been picked off waivers this week.

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