I returned from class today with one of the more interesting stories waiting for me on espn.com. Falcons QB Mike Vick was caught at Miami Airport with a water bottle containing a substance that had an aroma that was similar to marijuana.
"Vick reluctantly surrendered a water bottle to security at Miami International Airport that officials said smelled like marijuana and contained a substance in a hidden compartment. He was not arrested and was allowed to board an AirTran flight that landed in Atlanta before noon Wednesday."
First of all, what the hell is Mike Vick doing on an airline like AirTran. Is it even a real airline? It kind if sounds like that rinky dink ValuJet that crashed 10 years ago in the Everglades. Secondly, a hidden compartment...in a water bottle? In the words of Tracy Morgan, "That's just crazy!" But it gets better my friends.
"We'll do an analysis and see what it is. There's no sense of urgency to it," detective Alvaro Zabaleta said Thursday. "The bottle was found to have a compartment that contained "a small amount of dark particulate and a pungent aroma closely associated with marijuana," a Miami police report said. "The compartment was hidden by the bottle's label so that it appeared to be a full bottle of water when held upright, police said."
I respect the professionalism this Miami police report is trying to uphold in this case but let's call it like it is. That was no particulate. That was a nug hidden in that water bottle. And further, why use a word like pungent? If you look up pungent in the dictionary it says "something that affects the nose or mouth; bitter". I'd use a lot of words to describe pot but one of them wouldn't be bitter. And while we're here, I for one would like to congratulate Vick for coming up with something so ingenious as the water bottle holder for marijuana. Think about how much that would go for at the local head shop. I mean really Mike, did you think this was actually going to work? I think we all know the only safe way to bring pot through an airport is to hide it in your shampoo bottle. For some reason, I feel like if you really wanted pot so badly wherever you were going you could have found some kind of hook up. I mean you are a multimillionaire football superstar.
"Smoke two joints in the morning
Smoke two joints before flights"
This is just another incident in the life of the Vick family. Marcus got a bunch of 16-year olds drunk (and presumably took advantage of the circumstances...I mean why else would he do it), got caught with pot himself, and then straight up donkey kicked some dude in a bowl game. Mike got caught at an STD clinic using the alias Ron Mexico, gave the bird to a bunch of New orleans fans, and now this Aquajuana. What's funny is that I wouldn't be the least bit suprised if this "particulate" in the water bottle turns out to be planted by one of Vick's friends a la Daunte Culpeper. I mean c'mon only common folk smoke mary jane.