Mickey Mouse would have been proud

Earlier this summer, former five-star Michigan running back, Kevin Grady was picked up by police on a DUI charge. He's since been punished internally by Rich Rod and his coaching staff, and is now back to being a third-string running back — something he's become fairly comfortable with after coming to Ann Arbor as the second coming of Ahtony Thomas.

Well, back when the charges unfolded originally, it was revealed this wasn't your ordinary DUI charge because Kevin had had quite a bit to drink that night. In fact, it was .24 BAC worth of drinks, three times the legal limit. I was legitimately shocked he could even do the simplest things required to start a car — like not being able to locate the steering wheel drunk.

Turns out that's not even the beginning. Get ready to laugh and cringe at the same time:

Wyoming Police Officer Kevin Meany says when he approached a white GMC Yukon in the early hours of July 2, the driver, football standout Kevin Grady, was passed out behind the wheel with the car running and in drive. Grady was unconscious and his foot was on the brake. ...

Grady was given a breathalyzer test, which showed a blood-alcohol level of 0.281 -- more than three times Michigan's standard for drunken driving. ...

The officer also wrote that Grady was off-balance and unable to recite the alphabet, with Thompson quoting Grady as saying "O, R, S, J, L, P." Thompson said he asked for a number between 12 and 14, and Grady answered "15." And when asked whether Mickey Mouse is a dog or a cat, he answered "dog."

I don't even think I need a catchy one-liner to that. It's funny just there by itself.