Thursday, November 23, 2006

The Seven Locks Showdown

I'm sitting here in the friendly confines of my home basking in the glory of a pretty solid Thanksgiving. This morning we had a pretty sick little 4-on-4 football game at the old stomping grounds, Seven Locks Elementary School. It was lame that more people didn't show up, but it was raining. Teams went like this:

The Giannotto Brothers, The Broonsta, and Willman Lazartay vs.

Chachi, Miller, Bruno Baiao's brother, and Cahill Magic.

The first misstep of the day was Miller wearing this bullshit Ohio State t shirt to the game. Big mistake. The Gods were definitely against his team for that one. I was matched up on Magic for most of the game, and for most of the game he was playing quarterback. So naturally, in honor of Graham Townsend, I tried to do my best Shawne Merriman impression. The key word was tried. After such a dominating performance in the mud about a month ago, I followed it up with a lackluster showing. I was slipping and sliding all over the place, although I did manage a couple TDs and a couple sacks...not to mention a forced fumble and recovery on one of them.

The game started out pretty one-sided. Chachi and Baiao's speed were killing myself, Broon and Willman. Luckily Jeff is in the middle of wrestling season, so he was in the best shape out of all of us. But after falling behind 2-0, we stepped it up. While at first the Broonsta was playing QB, we realized we needed him as a receiving threat. The youngest Giannotto took on the challenge of playing quarterback in the same valiant manner that I took the Mudbowl team on my shoulders against Beta this year. It was a Tony Romoesque performance by Jeff, as he brought us to a 3-3 tie heading into halftime.

The unsung hero throughout was the Broonsta. If Jeff was Romo, Broon was Terry Glenn..i.e damn good receiver who doesn't get enough press because he's overshadowed by a player who talks too much (me). I really think the big mistake for Chachi's team was putting Cahill on Broon for a majority of the game. Well, and the fact that Cahill couldn't hold onto the ball. Magic gave up a sure TD in the first half as he fumbled while trying to reach over the goal plane, and then fumbled again late in the game as I sacked him.

As you can probably tell from the tone of my writing, our team, led by Jeffrey Ross Giannotto came out storming in the second half. The Giannotto-Broonsta connection was apparently passed down through my genes. They ran roughshod over a secondary that simply had too many breakdowns. Throw in some careless turnovers by Patchie's team and a ball hawking secondary (also led by Jeff)and you have a runaway victory for my team.

MVP of the Seven Locks Showdown: Jeff "Future Mudbowl MVP" Giannotto

Goat of the Showdown: Patrick "I don't wanna wear a speedo" Cahill

The Michael George Battey Memorial Award for absolute hilarity: Mark "The Reigning Mudbowl MVP" Giannotto for slipping and falling on his face on a perfectly timed cornerback blitz. Because of the slip the defense was exposed and a touchdown was scored. This will probably be the last time this award is given to someone other than Battey himself because he is currently somewhere in this great world of ours on a big ass boat. Ordinarily, Battey just playing in the game is hilarious by itself.

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